Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Response to my previous blog

.....This is a response to my previous blog written by my dear friend Lindsay. I really loved what she had to say and wanted to share it with my readers. Please, please feel free to also comment and share your thoughts.....

*Please read everything before commenting or getting upset. I realize that this only represents my side, and that is because it is the only side I can rightfully represent.I just want to say first and foremost I don't think my friend meant all pro-lifers, just the one I mentioned who is very prominent in the community and said something that is vile and disgusting while in the same breath saying he was against the murder, his words didn't sound much like he disagreed to me. So I'm sorry if what she said on my post offended you, and had I thought it was offensive I would have said something but I really agree with her message. From the other side of all of this, when all I really want to hear from anybody is how disgusted they are at the heinous murder of an innocent man, on this I can agree with you this is certainly NOT the time for politics, all I seem to hear is how afraid that the conservatives are that the liberals are going to use this against them. (Not that all conservatives feel that way, but the ones who get on the TV sure seem to). That is upsetting and offensive to me. I feel like a man is dead and a new game has already begun over how we are allowed to grieve. I feel like those comments back me and others into a corner where we can't say what we feel and express our immense sadness and outrage without it being some political mess. I think after a tragedy like this many people will say things they don't mean, but lashing out is often a part of the grieving process, I feel like I have the right to be angry, to be upset, and more importantly to be sad, and I feel like that is being taken from me. On top of that to hear leading pro-life orgainzations issue statements that are so backhanded as what Randall Terry from operation rescue said, it really does make the "pro-life" side of the argument look bad. (I used quotations because I don't believe there are only two sides to any argument, I think the vast majority of people who are "pro-life" don't fit into the same group as Randall Terry and those people who say such horrible things, but it gets difficult to express things coherrently if I start seperating the groups out because there aren't any other widely used terms) I agree that not all people who are "pro-life" even begin to agree with each other (especially with the radicals or those who are saying hateful things) as I wouldn't agree that all "pro-choice" people agree with each other, but that is what the devicive political game tells us to believe, and when it gets emotional sometimes that is the first thing that gets forgotten, on BOTH sides of the issue.To me, right now, this is a really hard time. For those of us that have our reasons to be "pro-choice", on an aside I hate the designations pro-life and pro-choice, it is reasonable to question our safety for speaking our mind. I've seen some pretty terrible things at rallies and protests, and I've known people who have been injured volunteering at Tiller's clinic. This is definately not the first time that violence has ocurred during this debate, this isn't even the first time somebody has tried to murder the man. Do I think that all pro-lifers engage in this type of behavior? No, not even close, MANY of my very close friends are "pro-life" and I know that they would never hurt anyone, and that they really do value life and are respectful in the disagreements, but I think that there will likely be a backlash toward the radicals, who tend to be more vocal and prominent than the sane people with good morals and values. I also don't think this backlash will be out of hatred or anger, but fear. Not that the fear is new, but now somebody is dead, so the fear is stronger. (Note: I don't mean a physical backlash, just verbal, and I don't agree with it, but I do understand it.)Also, we lost a strong, dedicated, upstanding, member of our community. A man who stood up for what he thought was right, and never wavered in his dedication to serve the members of not only our community, but the women of this entire country who desperately needed him. This is a time of grief, and sadness, and sometimes people say things in grief that they wouldn't normally say.So in short, I don't agree with anything anybody is saying at this point, other than that we need to focus on healing the wound left by Dr. Tiller's loss, first and foremost by showering his family in love and support, showing respect to them while they heal by not speaking ill of the man before he's even been burried, and by healing our community which has been shocked by a terrible tragedy.I don't want to start any arguments today, just share how I feel right now. I support a woman's right to choose and I think almost all of you know that by now. It is not my goal to change anyone's beliefs, and I can promise you will never change mine. I have heard all of the arguments, I've been called all the names. I made my choice based on the facts at hand. I've talked with many women who have been faced with an immensely difficult decision and chosen both ways, I know in my HEART that they had the right to make that choice for themselves. I also know in my HEART that every person has the right to choose for themselves whether or not to agree with me. I wrote this in response to an amazing woman with whom I tend to disagree politically, but who is as open-minded and loving as the day is long. I want to share what I'm going through (and lots of others like me) with her, and with everyone who truly wants to know. I know that she may disagree, but she does it respectfully, and that she cares about all people and their well-being no matter what they believe. If it wasn't for you Amber I don't think I would have had the strength to say what has been weighing on me these last few days, for that I must thank you.That being said I welcome constructive comments and thoughtful conversation, but any hatefulness from either side will be deleted and ignored. My heart is too heavy from this tragedy to deal with any more hatefulness.

My response- I really appreciate what you are saying and I do not disagree. In fact I whole heartedly agree with most of what you are saying. I was not attacking your friend. I have had that point of view expressed to me (or in front of me, or I read it in reference to the situation) by no less than 10 people. It was really starting to frustrate me. Because I am someone who is openly pro life, there have been days this week where I have been made to feel like I was somehow partly responsible for this tragedy because of my political and relious beliefs. I think that you are simply, and more eloquently I might add, expressing my argument from the other side. As always, I love hearing what you have to say and I love you!

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