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NASHVILLE, Tenn. (Oct. 1) - Eric Peterson heard a bang on his door in his quiet Nashville neighborhood and opened it to a woman covered in blood.
She pleaded with him to go rescue her children. She said she had left them at her house a few doors down to get help after a woman stabbed her with a kitchen knife. By the time Peterson got to the home, the baby was gone.
A woman posing as an immigration agent snatched a newborn from a Nashville, Tenn., home and repeatedly stabbed the baby's mother when she tried to intervene, authorities said Wednesday. Maria Gurrolla, 30, told reporters she had never seen the kidnapper before. "I need my baby back," Gurrolla, shown, said in Spanish.
Authorities are searching for the baby boy and the woman his mother says was posing as an immigration agent and snatched him from her home.
Maria Gurrolla told reporters she had never seen the woman before she showed up at her door Tuesday evening. She said the woman got a knife from the home and stabbed her several times.
"I need my baby back," the 30-year-old mother said Wednesday through an interpreter outside Vanderbilt University Medical Center.
Gurrolla said she did not see the woman take the baby because she ran to Peterson's home. Peterson told The Associated Press she was "covered from her head to her toe with blood" with gashes on her neck and upper chest.
She asked him to save her children from the "lady in the kitchen" who had a butcher knife. When he got there, he saw a woman speeding away from the home. He brought Gurrolla's 3-year-old daughter back safely to his house, but found no baby, he said.
Gurrolla, who had a long scratch on her face, said the woman, whom she described as white and "robust", did not say anything about wanting to take the baby, who was on the sofa.
"She said she was an immigration officer and she was there to arrest her," said Gurrolla's cousin, serving as interpreter. It was not clear if Gurrolla was an immigrant, but police said she has lived in Nashville for at least 10 years. The cousin said the family did not want to discuss her legal status.
Police issued an Amber Alert with a picture and description of a 30-year-old woman. They questioned a woman matching the description in Buffalo, N.Y., but determined she wasn't involved.
Dr. William Dutton said Gurrolla had a penetrating chest wound and her lung had collapsed. He said she also had deep stab wounds to her neck, but was in stable condition. He said she still has physical signs that she gave birth recently. He described the birth as complicated but declined to elaborate.
A blue yard sign outside Gurrolla's home in the community of mostly single-family brick houses in south Nashville announces, "IT'S A BOY!" Police spokeswoman Kristin Mumford said she doesn't know whether Gurrolla was targeted because of the sign.
Peterson said as he was making his way to Gurrolla's house, a woman with a ponytail was behind the wheel of a gray 2-door Honda that sped away from the home.
As he approached Gurrolla's yard, a young girl in a diaper walked from around the back of the house. He left her with Gurrolla and the woman he lives with and headed back to look for the baby.
He sent his pet pit bull in first to check things out, then went in through the back door.
"As I preceded into the kitchen, I saw a puddle of blood, a big puddle of blood," he said.
He searched everywhere but found no baby. When he told Gurrolla, that's when she first started to cry. Police said the baby's father was at the home later Tuesday night, and Sharon Kimble, who lives with Peterson, said the toddler's father came later to pick her up.
Police spokesman Don Aaron said investigators were interviewing Gurrolla and her family again about the abduction.
A sketch artist is working to come up with a drawing of the kidnapper's face.
"We don't have any indication at this point that this is anything but a stranger child abduction," Mumford said. "We're not ruling out anything, but we have no reason to believe that the family is not being completely truthful."
Mumford said police are retracing the mother's activities before the attack, such as a visit to a local Walmart. Hoping to find a witness, police released a photo of a car that was parked near Gurrolla's at the Walmart and later followed her down the road.
Aaron asked the public for tips on the case and said it was a top priority for police in the area.
Copyright 2009 The Associated Press. The information contained in the AP news report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press. Active hyperlinks have been inserted by AOL.
2009-09-30 11:04:32
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Sick Kids Make Me Sad.
I love my friends and I want the best for them. I love being a mom and I want the world for my children. We have so many friends who have beautiful children that are not blessed with good health. It makes me sad. We know someone whos baby just had surgery at like 3 months for a heart condition. A small boy at our church was diagnosed with Moyamoya a very rare brain disorder.My bosses daughter has Ausbergers. We know someone who has a daughter with MD. Another just had a baby tested for Cistic Fibrosis. I can't even tell you the number of friends with Autistic children. My sister in law has a nephew that was born with Downs Syndrome. My brother's 17 year old best friend just got diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma. Ack! The craziest part? So many of these children are under the age of five. When we got the call about my brother's friend I hung up and with tears in my eyes had a serious conversation with my husband. Do we have a right in this day and age to have our children grow up healthy? Is it to much to expect our kids to reach adulthood unscathed? Maybe because so much of this is fresh in my mind I am overreacting. I am a girl after all. I just really am a little shaken by the fact that so many of the sweet kids we know are starting out their lives with such a big issue over their heads. Childhood is about chasing butterflies and frogs and eating ice cream not doctors visits and therepy sessions.
I feel a little helpless sometimes. I want to help but don't know how. I wish I could start a foundation or fund research. Rainbows in Wichita recently filed bankruptcy. Can you believe it? A lot of my friends lost their kids school funding. Someday, when I win the lottery (haha) I am going to work on helping children with disabilities. I have this incredible pull towards these families. My thoughts and prayers go out to you. I love you and want you to know that there are people out there willing to fight the fight with you. I got your back ladies!
I seem to blog about this a lot. I promise I am not all sadness and gloom. It is just something I am very passionate about. Especially recently. I should really proofread this but I probably won't so I am sorry if it is rambling and scattered. Love you but I should get back to work.........
I feel a little helpless sometimes. I want to help but don't know how. I wish I could start a foundation or fund research. Rainbows in Wichita recently filed bankruptcy. Can you believe it? A lot of my friends lost their kids school funding. Someday, when I win the lottery (haha) I am going to work on helping children with disabilities. I have this incredible pull towards these families. My thoughts and prayers go out to you. I love you and want you to know that there are people out there willing to fight the fight with you. I got your back ladies!
I seem to blog about this a lot. I promise I am not all sadness and gloom. It is just something I am very passionate about. Especially recently. I should really proofread this but I probably won't so I am sorry if it is rambling and scattered. Love you but I should get back to work.........
Friday, September 11, 2009
Everyday life and changes
Yes, I know, I have disapeared. I went back to work and life got crazy. School, jobs, kids, schedules, apparently my family still requires food. I don't know how you working moms do it. I am EXHAUSTED!!! Big V and little V are great! Valerie has been going to school half days but soon switches to full days. Nessa gets to start after her birthday and can not wait to go to big girl school with sissy. I am working half days right now but after they are both in school I am going back to working full-time. It makes me really sad. I love having my afternoons with the girls. When I am at work all day I miss them like crazy. ugh! BUT we need the extra income for now and I have a great boss. I work in the same building as my husband. We are right acroos the hall. So I can't complain too much, I suppose.
I have been planning Nessa's party. We decided on rice krispie treat cake. I am going to make it pink. Yum! My baby is getting so big so fast.
We had my husband's family reunion last weekend. It was a blast. We stayed out too late and when we got in the car I heard a little voice in the backseat..."Whew, I am so tired. It is almost bednight already" MIDnight was quickly appoaching so we whisked them home. We got to see his grandparents. They live a few states away and so we only see them about once or twice a year.
The Fair is coming! We take the girls every year. They are really excited even if they can't remember what exactly it is. I get fifty questions a day.....
"when are we going to the circus again?"
"the Fair, baby"
"whatever"
"What day is the parade?"
"it isn't a parade, it is the fair"
"whatever"
That is my four year olds new favorite word by the way.
Home improvement projects have been piling up for some time now. About two weeks ago my husband and I sat down and had a long talk about what we needed to get done. Then, we did it. Well, we are in the process of doing it. Steven has been amazing. He has fixed both of our toilets, a bathroom sink, tore out the kitchen cabinets, a ton of sheetrock removal, put up insulation, etc....We also replaced our bathroom vanities and our oven. Our bed fell apart and we knew someone with an extra in storage. What a lifesaver. Still on the agenda is rehanging a TON of sheetrock and then replacing all the kitchen counter tops and cabinets. After the begining of the year I think we are planning on replacing the floors. Then we should be about done with all the house projects on the inside. YAY!
So life in our house is crazy as always. How about yours? Anybody know any good maids that work for free? I need one. hahaha. Well, it is my bedtime so good night all!
I have been planning Nessa's party. We decided on rice krispie treat cake. I am going to make it pink. Yum! My baby is getting so big so fast.
We had my husband's family reunion last weekend. It was a blast. We stayed out too late and when we got in the car I heard a little voice in the backseat..."Whew, I am so tired. It is almost bednight already" MIDnight was quickly appoaching so we whisked them home. We got to see his grandparents. They live a few states away and so we only see them about once or twice a year.
The Fair is coming! We take the girls every year. They are really excited even if they can't remember what exactly it is. I get fifty questions a day.....
"when are we going to the circus again?"
"the Fair, baby"
"whatever"
"What day is the parade?"
"it isn't a parade, it is the fair"
"whatever"
That is my four year olds new favorite word by the way.
Home improvement projects have been piling up for some time now. About two weeks ago my husband and I sat down and had a long talk about what we needed to get done. Then, we did it. Well, we are in the process of doing it. Steven has been amazing. He has fixed both of our toilets, a bathroom sink, tore out the kitchen cabinets, a ton of sheetrock removal, put up insulation, etc....We also replaced our bathroom vanities and our oven. Our bed fell apart and we knew someone with an extra in storage. What a lifesaver. Still on the agenda is rehanging a TON of sheetrock and then replacing all the kitchen counter tops and cabinets. After the begining of the year I think we are planning on replacing the floors. Then we should be about done with all the house projects on the inside. YAY!
So life in our house is crazy as always. How about yours? Anybody know any good maids that work for free? I need one. hahaha. Well, it is my bedtime so good night all!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Where do parents rights start? End?
A Florida mom tried to rein in a new school-dismissal policy -- literally.
A new parking policy at Crystal Springs Elementary School in Jacksonville, Fla., requires parents to wait in line, inside their cars, while the students are released one-by-one. Fed up, one mom showed up on horseback, citing fuel costs and time spent waiting as the reason for her four-legged mode of transportation.
"I don't have the funds in my budget to sit in lines for an hour to two and a half hours to wait for my daughter," said the woman, identified only as Deidre by news station WJXT.
Deidre, who said she and her daughter often ride horses together, was prevented from taking the child home and was ushered off the property by police.
"Our first priority is the safety of our children, and during our arrival/dismissal, their safety is first and foremost a priority on campus," said Principal Jaime Johnson, according to WJXT.
Deirdre said Johnson refused to release her daughter, and in fact, pulled the girl back from her mother. "(Johnson) would not turn loose of my daughter's hand," Deidre told WJXT.
The principal stated that she did not think it was safe for the child to ride on horseback through the streets around the school, many of which are under construction.
Instead, a police officer drove the girl home, where she waited alone until her mother arrived.
Should the school have released the girl to her mother on horseback?
A new parking policy at Crystal Springs Elementary School in Jacksonville, Fla., requires parents to wait in line, inside their cars, while the students are released one-by-one. Fed up, one mom showed up on horseback, citing fuel costs and time spent waiting as the reason for her four-legged mode of transportation.
"I don't have the funds in my budget to sit in lines for an hour to two and a half hours to wait for my daughter," said the woman, identified only as Deidre by news station WJXT.
Deidre, who said she and her daughter often ride horses together, was prevented from taking the child home and was ushered off the property by police.
"Our first priority is the safety of our children, and during our arrival/dismissal, their safety is first and foremost a priority on campus," said Principal Jaime Johnson, according to WJXT.
Deirdre said Johnson refused to release her daughter, and in fact, pulled the girl back from her mother. "(Johnson) would not turn loose of my daughter's hand," Deidre told WJXT.
The principal stated that she did not think it was safe for the child to ride on horseback through the streets around the school, many of which are under construction.
Instead, a police officer drove the girl home, where she waited alone until her mother arrived.
Should the school have released the girl to her mother on horseback?
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Random Thoughts Everyone Has.......
Too funny not to share.......
Random Thoughts of the Day:
I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
That's enough, Nickelback.
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger..
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
There is a great need for sarcasm font.
Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.
I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on highway blackout when, inevitably I had to find a bathroom. Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way. We played that, Both go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that's is when I realized, yup, that's a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the guy on the other side is me. Even cats can recognize their own image.
How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
Was learning cursive really necessary?
Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say"..
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.
Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
I love the sense of camaraderie when a n entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."
I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Bad decisions make good stories.
Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.
I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.
Random Thoughts of the Day:
I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
That's enough, Nickelback.
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger..
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
There is a great need for sarcasm font.
Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.
I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on highway blackout when, inevitably I had to find a bathroom. Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way. We played that, Both go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that's is when I realized, yup, that's a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the guy on the other side is me. Even cats can recognize their own image.
How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
Was learning cursive really necessary?
Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say"..
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.
Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
I love the sense of camaraderie when a n entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."
I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Bad decisions make good stories.
Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.
I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.
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